A Kick In The But...With Love

This is going to be a short one.

Think of it as a kick in the butt...with love, of course, for anyone who needs it. Just last week, it was me who needed it.

“Don’t expect to see a change if you don’t make one.”

I saw this author-less sentiment when I was having a terrible week. I was super down in the dumps and was browsing Pinterest for uplifting quotes, you know, as one normally does. Naturally. And when those disciplinary black and white words glared back at me from the screen, it became so blatantly clear. I read them to myself like someone was speaking to me with their arms crossed, eyes wide, head tilted, shoulders on the brink of shrugging. You know. The look. Like that one person we all need to give us some tough love to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and do something. 

“Don’t expect to see a change if you don’t make one.”

It’s so easy to get upset at crap situations. To sulk, to vent, to stress, and in my case, to cry. To feel frustrated, disappointed, and the worst one, defeated.

What isn’t as easy, but much more necessary and beneficial, is to make a change. Whatever that “change” means for you. Do something to make a move in the right direction instead of wallowing from where you’re standing still.

Such is life, we’ve all been in this position before. I was just in this same position last year where that change for me was to quit my job and move to a new city where I’d be happier. And it worked. I've been in a much better place since then, both on a personal and professional level. (Don’t get it twisted, I still very much am.)

Life is a series of ups and downs, so from that move I made, that change, things were on the up and up and going just swimmingly. Then, last week happened...because lows do still happen. Peaks and valleys, right? A lot that was quietly bothering me before came to a head, then I kept getting bad news, all in five consecutive days. The good ole "when it rains, it pours" song and dance. I won’t go into specifics, but there wasn’t a single night that went by that I didn’t cry. (Whadduhya gon' do? It happens. Or I'm just a baby.)

I’m the type that doesn’t like confrontation and does everything to avoid it. I don’t want to be an inconvenience or cause any trouble. For the most part, I like this cozy little corner of my personality, but in times when it’s actually appropriate for me to get mad or speak up and stand up for myself when I’d just rather...not?...ugh. It's the actual worst. I stress out and I shake and my heart races. I don’t know whether to roll over and take it, or do something.

But finally, I had had enough. I put my foot down, which is very uncharacteristic of me, and I did speak up. (Go, me! Took me well over two hours to finally do the damn thing...but go, me!) And even though I proudly texted my boyfriend what I did and he said I was “still being too nice,” (it’s like he knows me or something), I got my point across and things have changed for the better. I - pretty much - got what I wanted that’s going to really pay off and will benefit me down the road. That’s what needs to come first, no matter how uncomfortable it might be to get there.

When your situation could be better, make it so. Of all people, I know how uncomfortable it is to rock the boat and stir things up, but it's necessary in order to make a positive impact on your life. I've talked about it before, and it applies here too: magic happens outside of your comfort zone. You just simply need to go there.

So if something is off, if you’re being treated in a way you don’t deserve, or if something isn’t serving you how you need it to, speak up. Do something. Make a change.

Or else, don’t expect to see one.

Diana JoinerComment